(maybe I was around 8)
my parents discovered the star i had
drawn, even etched
into the end table.
"Luke, did you do this?"
Deny it.
But they knew.
And while we laugh and joke about it now
I can still feel the humiliation and
disappointment I experienced when they
exposed my lie.
Not maliciously
but pulling a band-aid off hurts whether
the wound is real or not.
it felt so grown up
sitting down to discuss what would happen next
for for all the wrong reasons
Because I had ruined a perfectly good end table
I would buy a new one with my own money.
And while I have no idea whether my
parents actually ever planned to uphold that punishment
the fear
sadness
disappointment
I felt as I researched new end tables
is something I can still grasp.
Though we may disappoint those that believe in us
and though we may have to learn lessons on the way
we will mess up
but we are nudged back onto course
forgiven and loved.
I had to look hard to find evidence of the star this morning. Time has worn it down. It's funny how we remember those moments when we disappoint - I can well remember the two times I truly lied to my parents .... and didn't get caught. But the guilt punished me far more than they would have.
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