Sunday, April 8, 2012

Easter Sunday, 2012

Empty seems to have a
negative connotation
glass half empty
like a bad attitude
we like things that are full
overflowing
filled beyond belief

yet the story of Easter
isn't about what is full
it isn't about presence
but the lack of it.
it turns our desires
our notions of what is good
and makes us question it.

Jesus only appears to a few disciples
the rest of us have only an empty tomb
not presence
but a void
not evidence
but only the glimmer of hope
that allows faith to grow.

Lent-Day 40

Cracks in the armor
spaces through which the
light shines through

revealing bits of themselves
that hurt
that are painful
that make them vulnerable.

even when the tomb
seems dark
and empty
cold
and sad
you have to remember:
Easter is coming.

Lent-Day 39

Darkness can hold comfort
it covers transgressions
fears
insecurities
like a comforting blanket
of warmth.

Candles hold the key
the Spirit present in the group
holding attention
not about each light, each person
but about the "we"
a community of light
that only full realizes itself
when darkness is all around.

Lent-Day 38

Peace feels
like falling
falling
falling
seeing the ground
rise up to meet you
a wall you can't escape
fear
terror
coursing through every
crevice of your soul
and then landing
like a fragile egg
on the downiest of pillows
safe.

peace.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Lent-Day 37

I'm back among the books
searching for the words of wisdom
that will bring peace
Beckoning for the comfort of Grandpa
to still my heart
speak to my soul
in ways I can learn to hear.

I hunger for knowledge
books call to me
to challenge the ways I view the world
that have become static
entrenched in the dust and dirt
that comes with too little usage.

My thirst is for purpose
not identity
but meaning.
Do I assign value, meaning?
Or are the definitions found somewhere deep within?

Lent-Day 36

So many say
"Listen to God."
But I'm not really sure it's that easy.
I'm just not sure when it is
that God is speaking
while my mind is chattering away
like members of a Sunday morning brunch group.

"Listen, he'll speak."
Through a person?
Through a symbol?
maybe I'm making it too difficult
when really it's simple
and I just haven't learned how.
I crave silence
but even when my ears hear nothing
my senses are clouded by the dull roar
of everything flowing through my head
crashing like ocean waves
upon the clarity I desperately desire.

Listen?
While I know everyone wants the best for me
I can't help but detect agendas, plans
beyond my control.
The idea of God controlling my life doesn't scare me
as much as the notion that the people of God are trying to
I don't want to turn independence into a god
rather
it seems to lead me to Him.

So I'm trying to listen to God
but that still small voice struggles to be heard
in the clamor.

Lent-Day 35

I've been thinking
wrestling with my
restless nature
wondering why I keep searching
looking
wandering.
It has occurred to me
that writing
holds hope.
So many of my projects
thoughts
dreams
deal with the power
of pen
and paper.
Perhaps purpose can be found
through this passion.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Lent-Day 34

if something tickles your core
consider it a foot in the door
for the more time we spend
in the ways we're intended
we're ourselves more than ever before.

when we allow the Spirit to search us
our lives are filled with purpose
we'll find ourselves places we never imagined
we'll recognize friends we've never shook hands with
a community that will not desert us.

Lent-Day 33

Wisdom
like a seed
needs to be nurtured.
Cultivated.
It can lay dormant.
Quiet.
Asleep.
But given the right conditions
the seed can
grow
grow
grow.
A plant is never complete
never done changing
but "success" for a plant
if possible
is sowing
new seeds.

Lent-Day 32

Smell can conjure such memories
the simplest scents carry the
weight of our lives
trapped within
so walking into a library
full of those musty books on faith
I feel presence.

I walk into Grandpa's study,
grab a book
and start to read.
Grandpa sits down next to me
and does the same.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Lent-Day 31

What is our greatest fear?
The unknown.
But what is the unknown
if not misrepresented as failure?
We're scared of what is different.
Hard.
Uncomfortable.

Yet somehow fear encourages growth.
For who can become
without being pushed
prodded
pulled
beyond their comfort level
and into the realm of uncertainty?
Certainly not me.

The question is then asked:
How to be something different than stability?
For fear can push us
but it can also
hold us down
unable to take a step forward.

Lent-Day 30

I think people spend their lives
searching for freedom.
A life, year, day, even brief moment of
release
peace
from the burdens weighing them down.
But I think a solution is fear.
That moment when your heart jumps
starts beating like a drumline in rhythm
hammering with force enough to build a home
you're nervous
anxious
And then
finally
it happens
right when you lift off.
Fear.
Release.
Peace.

Lent-Day 29

Like the trials before success
Lent hits with the rains of drudgery
mired in the mud
struggling to strive towards the light of
springtime
newness
resurrection.
the months of heavenly tears
can draw to a close
the rays of warmth can begin to
pierce the wall of clouds
holding darkness in
spring is coming
spring is coming
a new day is about to begin.