Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Lent-Day 36

So many say
"Listen to God."
But I'm not really sure it's that easy.
I'm just not sure when it is
that God is speaking
while my mind is chattering away
like members of a Sunday morning brunch group.

"Listen, he'll speak."
Through a person?
Through a symbol?
maybe I'm making it too difficult
when really it's simple
and I just haven't learned how.
I crave silence
but even when my ears hear nothing
my senses are clouded by the dull roar
of everything flowing through my head
crashing like ocean waves
upon the clarity I desperately desire.

While I know everyone wants the best for me
I can't help but detect agendas, plans
beyond my control.
The idea of God controlling my life doesn't scare me
as much as the notion that the people of God are trying to
I don't want to turn independence into a god
it seems to lead me to Him.

So I'm trying to listen to God
but that still small voice struggles to be heard
in the clamor.

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