Adding pieces to the puzzle

Being gone
makes coming back that much better
like a long, hard winter
helps one appreciate beautiful summer weather
a community without a member
is like a puzzle without a piece
never quite complete
and love is the glue
that holds it together
**************

Do I know my neighbor?
Do I like my neighbor?
Do I agree with my neighbor?
Do I trust my neighbor?
Do I think my neighbor would do the same thing for me?
Doesn't matter.
What matters is that I love them
and that by doing so
I add a piece to the puzzle
I help create a larger
more diverse picture
one of a larger community
where everyone is invited
and loved.

My Post-General Assembly letter to the church

To my church,

whom I love.

I am angry.
I am angry we prioritize politics
over our relationships with each other.
I am angry that members of our community
threaten to leave when their
demands aren't met
the temper tantrum of a petulant child

I am frustrated.
I am frustrated that hours upon hours
years upon years of work
done by so many different people
is so quickly dismissed by those
newly educated on the subject
by those scared of change
or spending a little money.

I am disappointed.
I am disappointed that we
as a church
missed a chance to speak
the prophetic voice in our world
we could have no longer been a thermometer reflecting society
but the thermostat dictating change
I am disappointed that in efforts
to appease the loudest
we have allowed the silent to stay ignored.

I am sad. I am sad for our divisions.
I grieve for schisms rendered
and relationships broken.
I am sad we remain stuck
in neutral
able to go neither forward nor back.

But I have hope.
I have hope for the conversations I have seen
the dissimilar theologies and worldviews
committing to developing relationships
mending rifts

I have hope for the young voices I heard
voices that demand our ears
and our respect
not simply because they are young
but because they hold the
passion
love
and commitment to reconciliation
that will guide this church forward.

And I have faith.
Even at my lowest points
when I doubted God's presence in our midst
when I questioned the motives of voting members
even as the dreams and visions I held for this week
dissolved as chalk on sidewalk in the rain

I have faith.
For while I lament
timing
urgency
immediacy
I know it is not our will, but His be done
and while we may not know where that takes us
my dear church
it's exactly where we need to be.

Even in
my anger
my frustration
my disappointment
and my sadness
my dear PCUSA,
I love you.

Firestarter

How do you take the energy
from disappointment
the anger
of frustration
and turn it into positive growth?

these are the moments of holy fury
the fanning of the fire
that needs ignition

perhaps we have built the fire
and we were waiting only for this,
a single match.

A thought on General Assembly

Listen
my friends
listen
for as we clamor about
with activities
agendas
ambitions

we fail to listen for
awakenings
as we
go
go
go

I fear our own desires
are clouding our visions
like dust settling on a once-vivid photograph.

Reflections on life

Funerals
these memorials
are always bizarre.
Nothing makes you reflect on your own demise
like recognizing the death of another
and yet
I always end up more focused on life
for as we sit in remembrance of one gone
we discuss their character
their ambition
their achievements
and I can't help but wonder if
what we're talking about
is what they wanted to be about
if our perception of a life lived
matches that of the person who has died
at all.

It seems to me, then
that when I reach my end
I want no debate
there will be no room in that place
for discussion as to who I was

"A servant for all" that could be said
for love
for peace
for justice
if I can end my life with those reflecting on it
remembering
diligence
dedication
selflessness

if that funeral is not a funeral
but a day of servanthood
where all gathered don't cry or mourn
but smile as they help a neighbor
laugh as they meet a stranger
and rejoice in the servanthood of one another
I'll have lived as I wanted.