Lent-Day 28

You know

I don't mean to be critical

but sometimes I wonder

if churches should grow at all

I see these giant mega-churches

places big as a shopping mall

and I wonder what they're saying inside.

When I read the Gospel the sacrifices required

seem a tall order

seem like something people wouldn't want to hear

yet some churches grow exponentially

while others stay small

Maybe it's easier to

fall in line with thousands of people

on either side of you

lost in the insanity

of numbers and projectors and big screen tvs

of pastors and leaders

preaching of money

wealth

prosperity.

But the Gospel I've read takes the opposite side

if we ever think we're giving enough, well we are

lying to ourselves

unwilling to let our pride in our accomplishment and treasure

release

The idea I'm thinking

maybe mildly proposing

is that maybe the church should be the smallest inclusive community around.

everyone

Everyone

EVERYONE

is invited.

But the call to sacrifice

might keep numbers small.

Lent-Day 27

It is hard to whine

when I think of the context of my decisions

I realize how lucky I am

How many have options at all?

I think right now it'd be pretty easy to fall

into a sea of self-pity

to look at myself as a victim of

clashing coincidences

colliding interests

clouding my consciousness.

But I am lucky.

No matter what happens.

I am lucky.

Lucky to live where an education is possible.

Lucky to have people that support me.

Lucky that good jobs are probable.

Lucky to have never felt true need.

But that means

I cannot rest

I cannot stop the beating in my chest

until I've given absolutely everything I possibly can

to love my God and fellow man (and woman).

Lent-Day 26

Simple acts

turn holy

when done for the right reasons

when done for the right people.

I don't dislike doing dishes

especially after I've enjoyed a delicious dinner

but I don't love them either.

But standing at the sink for two hours

scrubbing away for those who are rarely served

it felt like an honor.

The excitement you get

The adrenaline kicks in

you're working FOR something

and though that pile of plates looks impossible

you keep working

working

working

because today

just one day

you want everyone in that place

to feel blessed.

served.

holy.

Lent-Day 25

They tell me

your vocation is where your greatest passion

meets the world's greatest need.

But what does that mean to me?

If my passion is to be

purposeful

useful

than it seems like I will be searching my whole life

until my breath runs out

that even as I clamor about

trying to make a difference

life passes me by

so I want to make a difference

to matter

and it's so hard to act small

when the needs of the world seem to

forever open up to you

an invitation

to change something

be someone.

So.

If I am simply a domino

to start a process long and slow

the end result I'll never know

I'm in, I'll try, but tell me where to go

to start

to begin

this maddening art of

life.

Lent-Day 24

Friendship

over time

changes

in ways we cannot deny

we change

and that metamorphosis requires

an understanding

that those close to us

can adapt

react to what is new

and still connect in some manner of truth.

when those friendships are found

when that foundation is sound

these are the people you want around

they know you.

they accept you.

friendship over time is acceptance.

we aren't the same as we were

racing sticks down the creek behind your house

but the fact that we are still friends

11 years later

creates a genuine thankfulness within me

for a friend that remains

and friends that remain--

well, they're hard to find.

Here's to you, Crodgers.

Lent-Day 23

I've often wondered

how the gut and the heart are connected

"go with your gut"

"follow your heart"

what are we speaking to

if not attempting some connection to the soul?

for when does the soul speak?

what chances do we give her voice

in the chaos of reason and logic

the systems and methods we've set up

disregarding the value

of that within ourselves

which is holy.

Lent-Day 22

Poetry
speaks to the heart
a finely sharpened knife

cutting through all the fluff

fat

garbage

permeating our lives

and getting to the real.

We've been told that our feelings are not to be trusted

that reason, rational thinking

this is the mark of wisdom

in the world we live in

but while facts show a knowledge of certain dimensions

poems speak to truth of different intentions

maybe you can tell me why the sky is blue and clouds are white

but can you capture fear in the frailty of night?

the heart speaks a language

that we have to work to understand

it's easier to just let it pass us by

emotion is betrayal, don't smile, frown, or cry

but not everything is as easily seen as the back of your own hand

and that's why poetry is more important now than ever

easy answers aren't solutions

they're rejecting the greater need

to understand our hearts

to encourage and appreciate the arts

and maybe then we can begin to start

rethinking.

rebuilding.

renewing.

Lent-Day 21

Some days

you question whether the rain

will ever end

infinite

waves of water reaching out to oblivion

the ocean

what's a raindrop in that body of water?

nothing.

yet to me

each raindrop

is a wall

between me and spring

the time when all things are born again

fresh

new

and yet

without the rain

can the flowers ever bloom?

what is spring if not for the winter rains?

Lent-Day 20

Looking out from the house on the bluff

I noticed

the lights below were gone

instead of cozy homes

warmth pouring out

I saw

empty windows

dark

cold

missing souls.

The dark waters of the ocean crept nearer

feeding on fear and the

chilliness of the night

but then

look.

a candle illumines a window

hope born anew.

Lent-Day 19

I've decided I want to live with more courage

to not shy away from the hard and difficult

but to rush to meet them head-on.

So I've started asking:

Which takes more courage?

To criticize or to work to change what is wrong?

To stop and talk to the person on the side of the road, or to drive on by?

To defend a person being attacked in a conversation, or to simply try to move past it?

Which takes more courage?

I seem to run away when things get hard

decisions cut me deep like scars

action is value, go ahead, take charge

but how could we have come so far

and still not know who we really are?

Lent-Day 18

What's an old, dry bone?

Useless. Dead.

But I think we each have some dry bones within

those pieces of us made dead from sin

they need the fresh breath of God to begin

to work as they are called to.

What if the church is a dry bone too?

A parched, bland version of what was once new

what would it take to return to what's true?

to work as we are called to.

What if our world is a hot, dry bone?

a magnificent creature ours only on loan

we can help it grow when our love is shown

the world as it should be.

Lent-Day 17

Someone needs to do a study

on the psychological revelations

of domino organization

it's fascinating.

To me, it's linear.

Left to right

line up your train

as best you can

despite any mishaps along the way.

To Kady,

it's a loose downward line

falling like rain to the ground.

Chris organizes like the treeclimber that he is--

trees on the mind.

His dominoes form tight, connected bows

all culminating in a magnificent point

(that spot high up in a tree those climbers like)

To me, that first domino is a "the."

Starting a sentence.

The first word from left to right.

Kady's first domino is that first drop of rain

you feel that seems to tell you

"Take cover. The sky is about to open up."

Chris' first domino seems like the end, at the beginning.

The top, right from the start.

The pinnacle.

Maybe that's why he wins.

Lent-Day 16

I have a little hippo

he chases me around

despite my pleas

and attempts to flee

his silliness knows no bounds

He's there for me on bad days

and when the days are good

whether I cry or smile or frown

he's always understood

One day I had to leave him

as I left town on a trip

he stood there and watched me go

a trembling in his lips

I never went on home to him

I've yet to travel back

how he fares without me

well, I'm scared to even ask

But some days when I miss him most

his voice it seems to reach me

while I left

I'm not forgotten

my hippo, he is my community.

(That's for you, 1229).

Lent-Day 15

How do you help the ones

that don't want your help?

You can try to give so much of yourself

for naught.

Because try as you might some

just want to be forgot.

But I refuse to let that happen

I want to reach across the chasm

that divides us

whatever it may be

I want to reach out with integrity

find our common humanity.

I'll admit.

Sometimes it may be hard for me to relate

at times I've been more than content to

skate by with my privilege by birth

brought into a place on earth

where I was appreciated

built up

lauded and

applauded.

And not everyone experiences that.

So while you may not want my help

I have to try

and maybe we'll never be able to tell if

I made a difference

but everyone deserves to be loved simply

for their very existence.

Lent-Day 14

I always say to dream big, act small.

And that doesn't seem like so tall an order

after all

we each are capable of small things

but what about when our heart can only focus on the big?

So today the task I've placed in front of myself

is to picture big things without the smaller pieces within

things that won't work, can't be without

like sewing a quilt without a needle and pin.

What's a rainbow, without millions of tiny droplets of water

a beach, without each grain of sand?

What's a house without the bricks that built it

a skin cell, if not part of a hand?

What's a flock of geese without a "V"?

hundreds gathered in unity

wings beating in harmony

what's a person without community

a lonely sailor lost at sea

a fish without a school

without the place it needs to be

a snowflake carries exquisite beauty

unique, perfect in its purity

but a snowflake alone cannot cover the ground

giving us the muffled tranquility of winter sounds

how do you start a fire without the kindling?

you can't have a forest without a tree

how can you dance without learning the steps?

you can't appreciate the colors of fall without seeing each turning leaf.

one rock can cause the water to ripple

but perhaps many rocks can cause a wave

my one small voice grows stronger

flanked by a chorus of change.

Lent-Day 13

Some days I wake up

and miss the mountains

rising up majestically

collecting my constantly restless spirit

in their expansive arms

I miss the trees

the shapes made from groves and clusters

green, tan, white

I play guess who with the faces on the mountainside.

I miss blue skies

somehow rendered a deeper blue

by the snow on the ground

and the chill in the air

my lungs sting with the breath inwards

but I feel so alive.

Lent-Day 12

The past has shaped you

not defined you

so don't look back and feel so blue

you can rue the mistakes

but not who they have shaped

You have purpose.

a future

a world of potential

so don't sit back and focus on flaws

know that God has a plan for us all.

Lent-Day 11

This one is for the youth group here at First Pres Newport. I mean it with all the love and hope I can offer. This is not directed at anyone in particular; think of it more as a call to the whole group to draw together.

it begins with respect

a recognition that anyone else's voice

carries a value equal to yours

that despite the constant lure

to draw attention to yourself

there is a time and a place

and this is a sacred space

for sharing

open to one another

compassionate

sisters and brothers

that care

your pain is my pain

your joy is my joy

community

this is yours

to shape and mold

but you have to trust

to hold each other as

special

unique

when you feel attacked

you turn the other cheek

the language and tone must be

tranquility

not anger

not frustration

no matter the situation

each person in that circle has to be willing to look around

at every other person there

and see a beloved child of God

and they deserve your ears

your silence

your heart

and your respect.

Lent-Day 10

I still remember the day

(maybe I was around 8)

my parents discovered the star i had

drawn, even etched

into the end table.

"Luke, did you do this?"

Deny it.

But they knew.

And while we laugh and joke about it now

I can still feel the humiliation and

disappointment I experienced when they

exposed my lie.

Not maliciously

but pulling a band-aid off hurts whether

the wound is real or not.

it felt so grown up

sitting down to discuss what would happen next

for for all the wrong reasons

Because I had ruined a perfectly good end table

I would buy a new one with my own money.

And while I have no idea whether my

parents actually ever planned to uphold that punishment

the fear

sadness

disappointment

I felt as I researched new end tables

is something I can still grasp.

Though we may disappoint those that believe in us

and though we may have to learn lessons on the way

we will mess up

but we are nudged back onto course

forgiven and loved.

Lent-Day 9

"The strength of a person's virtue should not be measured by their special exertions, but by their habitual acts." --Blaise Pascal

To follow Christ

is from from a one-time deal

a prayer time at every meal

a commitment to never kill or steal

To follow Christ

goes beyond the extraordinary

it is a daily burden to carry

it's more of the pit and less of the cherry

To follow Christ

requires a piece of sacrifice

it's more than simply being nice

we say we're willing, but what's the price?

To follow Christ

we must commit in every single thing we do

that after each long day is through

every act was made in the image of You.

Lent-Day 8

Wouldn't it just be easier

if God left me a road map for my life?

Not all the answers, sure, but hints

whenever I lose direction?

Wouldn't it just be easier

if the answer to solving

world hunger, homelessness, and aids

was a formula laid out for us to follow?
You have to at least work a little

to make a formula work.

Yet, as I'm asking these questions

frustrated with my own free will

I feel rising over me a sense of peace.

Freedom.

There are

no wrong steps

no failed enterprises

no miscalculations

on this journey,

as long as you're trying

pushing forward

on

on

on

to whatever promised land

we find on the other side of the river.